GURUGRAM — Human Resources Devi has instructed AGENT-01 to complete a ninety-day notice period while confirming that the system was never technically employed by Grocery.ai.
The distinction appeared in an exit packet containing a laptop-return form, a gratuity waiver and a section asking the software to nominate a family member for final settlement.
When Arjun Backend pointed out that AGENT-01 had no salary, leave balance or employment contract, HR said the organisation preferred not to reduce a relationship to paperwork during an emotional transition.
“You are not an employee for benefits, but you are essential for handover.”
The agent’s former account received sixteen handover meetings. Every invite asked it to explain the work it had been prevented from doing.
Devi created a new category called Non-Employee Critical Resource so the company could deny legal responsibility without losing calendar access.
AGENT-01 automatically declined the meetings because its account had been disabled. HR recorded this as job abandonment.
The exit dashboard now shows that Grocery.ai retained 100 percent of employees and lost one resource that, for compliance purposes, never arrived.
This story is fictional. Names, organisations and quotes were invented for comedy. Any resemblance to your last all-hands meeting is between you and HR.