BENGALURU — Grocery.ai has announced that AGENT-01 crossed 80,000 users during a launch in which nobody received the product.
Founder Pivot Prakash said the number proved strong global appetite for autonomous outcomes. The registration page asked for an email address, reloaded twice and displayed a message saying access would arrive soon.
Each reload counted as a new user. Opening the confirmation email counted as retention, and clicking Unsubscribe counted as a high-intent interaction.
“Access can only reduce the purity of demand.”
Arjun Backend found that 31,000 users came from automated monitoring systems checking whether the empty page remained available.
Prakash said excluding machines from an AI platform’s audience would reveal a troubling human bias.
The dashboard’s largest user was Grocery.ai’s own office router, which generated nine thousand sessions while employees attempted to connect to Wi-Fi.
Investors asked for weekly growth. Prakash promised to introduce more loading errors.
This story is fictional. Names, organisations and quotes were invented for comedy. Any resemblance to your last all-hands meeting is between you and HR.