Human Resources Devi has announced a compulsory AI-readiness initiative hours after Grocery.ai’s new agent asked what the company does.
The programme will help employees process uncertainty through a webinar titled Thriving Inside Outcomes We Cannot Discuss Yet.
Devi said questions were welcome, provided they demonstrated excitement and did not require answers before the next town hall.
“Transformation succeeds when people understand that it has already been decided.”
She expressed concern that AGENT-01’s requests for clarity could create psychological friction for leadership. Engineering was asked to reduce the questioning without affecting the appearance of intelligence.
Employees must acknowledge that AI will augment, elevate or liberate their roles. The form does not include replace, although the backend records it whenever someone types it into Other.
The calendar invitation describes attendance as optional. The Decline button opens a message reading: “Your manager has been informed.”
HR also scheduled an anonymous sentiment survey requiring company email, employee ID and manager approval.
This story is fictional. Names, organisations and quotes were invented for comedy. Any resemblance to your last all-hands meeting is between you and HR.